My third Tidings column admits that I might have overshot by assuming that most people are ready for a kind of Golden Rule of Discourse -- receive others' attitudes and perspectives as you would have yours accepted, grasshopper. I leaned on the practical, not the moral, imperatives for treating people right. I thought that could work as Square One for raising the abysmal level of discourse.
I may have been wrong. Your take is especially welcome on this one.
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3 comments:
Hi Jeff,
As I see it, you have two choices (I know there are more). First, go low - the lowest common denominator. Given how low our social discourse has sunk, thats a tough one. OR, stay the course, and expect people to raise themselves to your basic level, and play it straight. From Stephen R. Covey's "The 8th Habit" "...communicate to people their worth and potential so clearly they come to see it in themselves...". Good on you!
This focus on this discourse can be swung to a whole new point of reference and potentially bring a new choice for us all.
Instead of focusing on your "adversary" for discussion on how to treat others, focus on how you feel depending on how you are treating others. I cannot speak for anyone but myself but when I treat others in a invalidating way, I am in the energy of invalidation.
How do I feel in invalidation of others? Exactly the same as I feel when others invalidate me. So it really is a lose lose. But when I choose to be in validation for myself so I feel the energy of validation, I feel good.
It's all about me. Sounds selfish, I know, but it is very effective in making me and others feel validated.
Hope this helps it is a very tricky position to attain but any one can do it.
Dea
Steve, this is clearly said. I don't like choice #1, and an unstated choice #3 -- the hell with discourse, and might makes right -- isn't really a choice at all. So #2 sounds about right to me.
Dea, just right. I think we all carry around a pretty reliable instrument for measuring the quality of the communication we put it. If we're feeling jarred and off-center after communicating, something's not flowing right.
Thank you both. J
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